The Fool On The Hill

TRIP FOURTEEN

Old Man Goes West.......to the Caribbean

Guadaloupe

Bridgetown, Barbados

St, Georges, Grenada

Santo Domingo

OK, time to detail "The Problem" and why my stay in Santo Domingo had to be extended.

Please Note:

• "Anyone arriving into the United States or one of its territories (like Puerto Rico) — and not covered by the Visa Waiver Program (ESTA), will require at least a C-1 transit visa to transit the airport. This can be expensive (US$160 minimum) and time-consuming to obtain, and you can be denied the visa: the requirements are the same as the full B-2 tourist visa. If you arrive without this visa, even for a fuel stop or transit, and aren't eligible for a waiver, you will be sent home and recorded as having been denied entry to the US. However, it is more likely that the airline will check that you have the proper visa to enter the United States before allowing you to board the aircraft. If you do not have the visa, you will be denied boarding and it may cost a lot to change your ticket or buy a new ticket at the last minute to avoid the US."
• 
  

Monte Verde Rain Forest - Costa Rica

The Choco Cafe

But at least it had the Choco Cafe at the bottom of the hill. Lovely staff, great coffee and tasty food, Definitely an O-Zone award.

Cartagena de los Indios

Cartagena de Indias in Colombia was made famous by the writer Gabriel Garcia Marquez and his "Love in the Time of Cholera" and this is it on a quiet day. But at Christmas or rather Jan 6 (twelfth night) it's not so quiet. In fact it was party time and the place was heaving with tourists everywhere. 

And as you may know, crowds of people are not my thing. I found a couple of nice quiet cafes, away from the crowds but mostly everywhere was packed. 




One of the most striking sights in Cartagena is the castle of San Felipe de Barajas. That's it left on top of a hill. Built by the Spanish in 1536 it survived an attack by the British Admiral Vernon in the War Of Jenkins Ear in 1741! Looking at it from below it looks huge but with the scorching temperatures and the long queues to buy a ticket and looking at that long ramp to climb to get up there I chickened out and went to have a drink.


And before we leave Cartagena we need to show a picture of the colourful black women that work in the streets selling fruit and other stuff. They come from Palenque in the south of Colombia and they all wear this wonderful costume.












This is the centre of Asuncion, Paraguay on a quiet Sunday afternoon. The infrastructure is a tad tired so to speak and the heat is oppressive. There's not a lot of choice apart from the absolutely packed Bolsi and as the heat was slowing me down I settled on a nice, empty place in a side street where they keep your beer cool for you by putting it in an ice bucket.









Perhaps not the best foto to choose but it gives an exact idea of Rio, Lots of development, mountains everywhere and long beaches. 










And to end, it has to Colonia del Sacramento in Uruguay, the best little town in the World!

TRIP  THIRTEEN

So, we're off again, on the ill-numbered Trip Thirteen. But what could go wrong, its a nice summer jaunt ticking off the last two European countries that I haven't seen yet, namely Belarus and Azerbaijan and then enjoying a trio of Gulf States, in Bahrain, Doha in Qatar and Muscat in Oman. 

All good so far but I then head south and for the first time venture into Africa. I've seen Lalibella in Ethiopia on TV a couple of times and it looks amazing and nearby there's the legendary Khartoum in Sudan where poor old Gordon meet his fate. And then I'll pop in on Kenya and South Africa before going off to Zimbabwe and Victoria Falls on an old English train!

So this trip it's a total of 14 countries and 40 days travelling.

The First Stage - The Last of Europe

Is Azerbaijan in Europe? I'm not too sure but Belarus definitely is. 

Not knowing what to expect from Belarus which only last year let people in without a Visa I decided to limit myself to Minsk for a couple of days. And I have to say to my surprise that the Beorussians are among the most helpful people on the planet. Everyone it seems is determined to be nicer and more helpful to you than the last person you met. And the list is long. From the hotel receptionist giving me her computer with lead and internet access code, to the Metro security asking in perfect English if I needed any help when he saw me reading the maps and signs at the entrance, And then the overworked ticket office woman in the Bus Station who ignored the long queue behind me and took out a pencil and carefully underlined the important bits on my ticket to make sure I caught the right bus. And in the food places too. Advice on asking for two pieces of cherry pie because its a bit small (and all for 3.80E with coffee ) in a wonderfully stylish cafe overlooking the river. And lastly the Italian restaurant where you get a free starter from the owner and then at the end a free dessert from the waitress who touches your arm  when you say "Thank You". 

And believe it or not I met two more friendly, helpful people in Baku, Azerbaijan. Well, make that three because Azerbaijan is the  only country that I have visited where the Bus Driver will leave his seat in the Airport bus and walk 100 metres to where you are struggling to understand the ticket machine and help you out to buy a ticket. 

So then I get to May 28th square not sure what to do next, so bought a map and a young couple in the shop there offered to show me the way to my hotel.

I was really chuffed to receive such help from two strangers but they were obviously enjoying showing someone their city.  We went on the Metro together for a couple of stops and then have a wander around the Old Town to find my small hidden hotel and then we enjoyed a quick coffee together. How have I managed to save the best places in Europe till the very end?

The Second Stage - The Gulf

Manama, Bahrain

And so on to the Persian Gulf. First stop was Bahrain. Its next door to Kuwait and very hot. I had nothing planned so at all three stops here I was hoping someone would offer something much as they did in Jordan last year. Well, nobody did so basically I took a couple or three strolls up and down my little street. Shops, Restaurants, and cafes, what more can you want.
Unless you've been there  you probably think the Gulf is full of Arabs. Well, no not actually. its full of Indians, Pakistanis, people from Bangladesh and the odd Filipino thrown in as well.  And these will be the people that will you meet in the cafes, restaurants etc. because they are the working class. The Arabs meanwhile are rarely seen.

This is Shopping in Doha. Yes, you may think it a bit tacky and yes that is a gondola being paddled down the minuti canal. Ok, not exactly paddled, because it's electric.

The Third Stage - East Africa

First stop was Nairobi.

It's over, done, dusted.................the Trip of a Lifetime, something I just had to do while the legs were still working. And all in all, it was a bit of a doddle. I didn't have long to plan it so it was a bit of a rush job but it all went very smoothly, with not a single hip-cup that I can think of apart from losing a couple of teeth and my favourite glasses.

I've just got home and it's nearly midnight after having spent last night on planes but the adrenalin is still pumping and who can go to bed after such a momentous trip - so why not write up the Blog.

First some numbers so you can see the size of the thing. Fifteen countries, 20 flights, 4 trains, 3 cars, 3 buses and a couple of ferry boats and a nice, round 50 days. And after a total of nearly 60k kilometres and 90 hours flying I was tempted a couple of times to run down the aisle screaming, "Let me otta here".

Not a problem that the famous Phileas Fogg had to face. He did it in 1873 (ok, it was fiction) for a 20,000 pound bet that he could complete the round trip in 80 days and he  planned using 6 steamers (ships to you) and 4 trains. Well, I have to tell you that an awful lot has changed in 144 years. If you tried hard enough maybe now you could do it now in 3 or 4 days  but what's the point in that - you want to see what the other people in the world are doing. And that is really why I did it. What's it like in Puerto Montt, how are the people in Darwin, what is there to see in Rangoon? So no time for museums I'm afraid and no monuments, only a couple of churches, which all meant not many crowded tourist spots. OK, there was in fact a wonderful, crowded Pagoda in Rangoon, of which I had never heard of before I got there but with only a handful of tourists in sight.

Ok, here's the details. Pretending to be  Phileas Fogg, I decided to find a place that I could return to at the end, to well, celebrate. So I started with a sobering coffee at the Mahoudrid Cafeteria cum bar in Madrid Terminal 4 then hopped aboard Emirates to Istanbul and we took off an hour late, not a good start.

On a trip like this I'm afraid you get a bit a obsessed on latitudes and longitudes. So if you're still following, the latitudes are the up and down ones, and the longitudes are the east-west ones. So after starting at a cold Madrid on latitude 40N  we headed due east with stops at Istanbul and Dubai in a 10,000 km hop to Seoul in Korea which at 37N you would expect to be a tad warmer than Madrid. No. It's really freezing in Korea and a reported 700m walk to the Railway Station was so demanding that I had to stop for  coffee on-route at a rather pleasant cafe. Not so pleasant was the complicated Metro system. There's gates everywhere and an absurd ticketing system so I was forced to climb over them twice. It was a bit warmer at the next top in Japan where I used their fabulous Shinkensen bullet trains to see wonderful Kyoto, grey, stark Hiroshima and Tokio.

After that it was a rather zig-zag course via Taiwan, Manila, Kuala Lumpur, Singapore, Jakarta and not forgetting the gem, in my opinion, Myanmar. Pity about the simmering apparent hatred below the surface for the poor Rohinya but which if you are a tourist cum traveller its hard to appreciate although the taxi driver did feel it useful to have two names, one Muslim and one Christan.

SSo our zig-zag Far East course took us slowly down to the 40th Parallel South and Down Under and Australia, landing in Darwin at 5 in the morning. Here the weather  was a bit odd as they suffer summer heatwaves and torrential rain at the same time so the outdoor terraces tend to have a sturdy roof and you run home in your shorts and dripping teeshirt.

Summer Storms in Darwin

The strange and wonderful force of gravity never fails to amaze me Down Under but it doesn't seem to affect the crazy Aussies. There they all were noisily drinking and enjoying themselves despite being upside down although the street-living Aborigines don't seem to be enjoying it so much. Sadly, that is how the world works. On then to fast food Adelaide and a 4 day drive along the spectacular Great Ocean Road along the Southern Ocean linking Adelaide to Melbourne. And just south of Melbourne, of course, is Tasmania, previously Van Diemens Land.

Waterfall in Tasmania

This was a place that I wanted to see for a long time but the boat trip across the Tasman Sea on the Spirit of Tasmania was 11 hours and costs a lot more than the plane so you sadly ignore the damage to the environment and hop aboard Jetstar for an hour flight that takes you to the second city Launceston (Lonceston, to you). And after that followed a manic island circumnavigation of 1400 kilometres in 5 days full of wonderful scenery and dark, steamy rain forests. I really enjoyed it there, the people were very friendly everywhere I went, and there's wonderful scenery and a host of National Parks. There's only hotels in the big towns like Hobart and Launceston so you stay in motels, camping sites and a B&B in the middle of nowhere.

My Time Machine

So, exhausted by the racing in my lovely red Susuki Baleno it was back to the mainland and the epic 12 hour flight from Melbourne across the Pacific to Santiago de Chile. And what can you make of this flight in an apparent Time Machine. You leave one continent at 20:00 in the evening and arrive over 11,000 km away at another one but apparently before you have left at 19:00 the same day!!! This takes some figuring out. You're not on a ship so there's no dunking in freezing water for first timers. In fact, you are fast asleep and don't notice anything.  All of a sudden its 24 hours ago and you appear to have had two days crammed into one. In fact, if you add up the flight time, the sleeping the morning before, the waiting time before the flight and the time at your destination it appears to last about 37 hours but I can't figure out how that should be.

So, there you are in South America, in Chile no less, where the coffee is rubbish and the food a bit iffy. It's a very long 4330 kilometre nation and for a reason that I have now forgotten I decided a couple of years ago to travel from the top to the bottom. Yes, silly idea really and if you drive yourself it's a bit expensive as you have to pay for someone has to drive the car back for you.

Puerto  Montt

And of course the full distance is almost impossible as the roads seem to terminate three quarters of the way down at the quaint cowboy port of Puerto Montt. I think it was the grandeur of the roads name - The Pan-American N5 that was the reason for the ridiculous plan.

Anyway, another milestone has been reached as I've now done approx 3065 km and it is really two distinct countries. Most of the money appears to be in the north from mining and agriculture and things seem more organised while the south is more Wild West country. The Northerner's drive normally like Europeans but the Southerner's drive like the Indians, very unpredictable and easily distracted by the frequent roadside fruit sellers and the occasional but very in-frequent cafe. So if you are ever tempted to drive from Santiago de Chile down to the southern port of Puerto Montt, I would advise against it. Not that the scenery isn't pleasant, just that the overnight towns are a bit of a nightmare and I ended up relying on pizzas and strangely names Chinese dishes.

So what do you do when you get to Puerto Montt, then. Well, there is a convenient boat that will take you down the West coast of Chile where roads are scarce and down to the most southern city of Punto Arenas. Yes, a tad expensive but maybe one for the future. As it was I choose the easy option of a two night stay on the Isle of Chiloe, and Ancud in particular. No less than 14 of the islands wooden churches are listed World Heritage sites and no I didn't see any. A planning mishap perhaps but no car and no time really to use the bus.

After Ancud, a fairly uninspiring 8 hour bus journey over the Andes (last years Santiago to Mendoza was much better) for an overnight at the lakeside resort of Bariloche and then on to Buenas Aires.

And lastly, it was over to Sao Paulo and home via Casablanca.  

So What's the state of the World then Nels? 

Well, there's a lot of fat people out there, is all I can say.  But you probably knew that anyway. There's an awful lot of takeaways in some towns and obscenely big portions in restaurants, maybe that's because of the lure of the takeaway. In fact the only places where you see normal sized people is where they eat rice or consume a lot of soup-type dishes.

And wherever you go, everyone on the planet is staring at their whatits.

So who books all this travel for you and where do you stay?

I plan the whole thing myself and do all the booking. These days its very easy. But if its a long trip and a bit of a rush job, like this time, its possible that I get to a place and don't know what to see or expect. So some times you get back home and realise what you have missed. And I stay in all sorts of places. I slept on the floor in a Ryokan in Japan for a couple of nights (its obligatory), a first floor room in a wooden hut, a shared bathroom in a backpacker hotel, a farmhouse and even a caravan.  

So Give Us the Highlights 

This is the stupendous Shwedagon Pagoda in Rangoon, Myanmar. Estimates of its age vary from 2600 to 1000 years so its old and although it was 18 metres tall at first it has been growing with the years. Rumours may tell you its over 200 metres high but no its only 112. Whatever, it appears massive when you stand beside it and wander around the base (no, you can't go in). Its surrounded by dozens of well, chapels in Christian terms, full of various sized Buddhas. And some are so beautiful that you want to take them home with you.

Ok, time for Tour Eleven. It starts on July 15 and runs through until Sept 4th, the longest one yet at 51 days, so lots of washing! Twenty-one countries in total although I'll only see the airports in Latvia and Greece as I've already seen Riga and Athens before and I don't really set foot in France as I'm using the train along the french Mediterranean coast to get to Monte Carlo. And it's all a bit of a mixture combining the cold of Iceland, where I was forced to buy a woolly hat, to the quite impossible heat of Dubai where nobody walks, except the odd English tourist and the Asian workers!

And as for the title, it's "One for the Road" because I continue to keep wondering how much longer I can continue this manic behaviour of leaving home and dog for months at a time.

Of course, the blame for this bizarre behaviour falls entirely on my hapless students - throughout the year they essentially keep me alive but during the summer they vanish on their vacaciones and by July 15th most have already said their goodbyes. So here we go, and it just leaves me to add that this summer it's going to be a local Tour of Europe "ish".

So where are you going then? Well, as usual it's a long itinerary because I don't let the grass grow beneath my feet with loads of different places because it's a big world out there in case you haven't noticed. So, first to Gibraltar, on the Iceland via London, and then on to Riga, St. Petersburg, Moscow, Zurich. Liechtenstein, Milan, Genoa, Monte Carlo, Vienna, Kosovo, Venice, Cyprus, Bologna, San Marino, Ravenna, Trieste, Ljubjlana, Zagreb, Belgrade, Kuwait, Dubai, Jordan, and lastly Athens.

One of the best moments was trekking around a valley in the middle of Jordan with the locals. Luckily on day 2 of my stay in Dana Nature Reserve in the middle of nowhere, I decided to have lunch in the slightly exaggerated named Tower Hotel ( not because of the impressive name, but because there's not that much choice really ) but after my tasty meatballs was offered a guided tour of the Dana valley. Bearing in mind the Jordanian heat, early morning seemed the best bet, so the following day at 9 I was picked up by a 4x4 driven by a local Bedouin, resplendent in red and white headdress and we slowly descended the dusty, twisting, steep road down into the valley. I had naively assumed that we would go all the way down because the bottom was supposed to be, according to Rough Guide, an idyllic oasis. But no, today we were looking for Ibex.
So after driving only 300 metres, to my dismay, we stopped and my local non-English speaking guide, no not the Bedouin, and I set off down the valley into the wilderness. The Bedouin spoke perfect English and was sorry but it was a holiday, idjj or something, and he had to visit his enormous family of 10 children and 14 grandchildren and only one wife. 
So after a couple of pleasant hours sliding down and clambering over rock formations, including several cups of delicious black tea brewed over a fire, in which we tried to communicate (hibibi, seemed to be a useful word, on later investigation it appears to mean dearie (!)), we settled down on top of an enormous rock to survey the mountain side in front of us. And after a couple of phone calls (amazing they had coverage in this secluded spot) the Bedouin appeared from no-where in the 4x4. More watching through binoculars for quite some time but finally we saw one. Well, it took me a while longer to trace it but they were so determined that I get my money's worth that they kept pointing it out. Oh, there it is in that cave......   

And what a picturesque place this is. A wonderful valley with mountains all around and with the Baron's castle on one of the hills overlooking the town. There's only a couple of streets, one for pedestrians and one for cars so not a lot going on but there's loads of restaurants and if you have the energy you can climb the hill to have  a gander at the castle, but sorry, you're not allowed in.

Petra is rather nice and surprisingly empty of tourists, no not a single Chinese herd in sight.  To get to the ruined city you first you have to walk through the Siq which is very impressive, if you like strange rock formations (two shots above). As you can see it's very narrow too in places and you don't see it until you are on top of it. It's a kilometre or so and quite cool after the long walk from the main gate. And then you reach the famous Treasury. Everyone has seen the Treasury in pictures a hundred times so it isn't really much of a surprise.

The main problem, after being so used to the friendliness of Jordanians, is that here they are a bit of a hassle. There's hundreds of people trying to sell you junk basically and offering rides on horses, mules, donkeys and camels and rides in small carriages. Yes, its very hot and very tempting but I walked. And I am very glad I did because on foot you meet lots of people.

And quite by coincidence here they all are in the second foto.......2 lovely french girls from Guadalupe, a Kiwi who works in Palestine, a guy called Daniel from Manila who works in Dubai, four Jordanian Civil Engineering students, 4 beach boys from California, a very sweaty bloke from Barcelona whose life I feared for and Mariam, a Jordanian stall holder looking for a husband. Ok, a few are missing, Mariam was last seen chasing a potential husband offering him a free fridge magnet,  while two of the beach boys were off looking for some surf........

Sorry, wrong picture, this is the Hermitage Hotel, Monte Carlo, rooms starting at 459 euros per night with Free Cancellation, of course, if you find the moneys running a bit low. 

And no, I didn't stay there, I rested for a brief moment in the rather nice, albeit small park outside the hotel while admiring a splendid open top Lambo and its accompanying models.

And this of course, is the fabulous Hermitage Museum. I have never seen so much gold in all my life. Is it the Fort Knox of Russia or is it supposed to be a museum? The curator has said "I don't know if it's the best museum in the world but it's certainly not the second best". Yes, it's huge, exhausting,and mind-blowing but if you've never seen it you really are missing something.

And this is the fantastic Baggage Reclaim Hall at Dubai airport. Not much gold here, white is the colour scheme but it's Big. The whole of Terminal 3 of the airport used to be the biggest building in the world in floor area (18.4 Million sq. ft.) till the Chinese built a shop (!) in Chengdu.

Airport Reclaim halls are normally places full of panic driven passengers pushing and shoving almost fighting to get their luggage but not here. Arrive via Emirates and they will give you the Belt Number while you are on the plane to save you worrying and once you get there, you'll find walkways to ease you to the correct Belt and plenty of nice, comfy seats to rest on as you wait for your bag to arrive. Meanwhile you can gaze at the surrounding splendour of the design and sheer size of the place while shuddering as you remember the chaos of other less fortunate places. So this is where my petrol money ends up...........

If you're still here, these are the minor highlights - Gibraltar, Reykjavik, the Summer Palace in St.Petersburg,  Kosovo, walking the Grand Prix circuit at Monaco, Genoa, San Marino and an old favourite Zagreb. Although I can't leave out Belgrade and its Moska Hotel.

First Port of Call was Gib. I was expecting a poky little place with nothing to do but have a quiet beer but no my father was wrong there's loads to do over a weekend. There's a Moorish castle with the Union Jack flying, there's a Cable Car if you want to get to the top, there's several impressive tunnels in the rock, some built, strangely enough, during the American War of Independence in 1775 when the Frenchies and their allies the Spanish tried to invade the Rock. No chance! And there's also several miles of World War 2 tunnels, no less than 34 miles in total.....

What to see in Iceland?  Well, apart from the very small but lively capital of Reykjavik there's plenty of geysers which erupt almost on schedule every 50 seconds or so.....

The landscape is a bit bleak but there are trees unlike the Falklands, and lots of water, hot and cold. There is also a Plate, no not dinner, Tectonic if you please, at a place called Thingvellir. In fact its the only place in the world where you can see two tectonic plates drifting apart above sea-level. And they are so near in places that you can touch, in theory, both Europe and America.
And the airport although small is crammed with shops and eateries and one of the liveliest airports I've come across.  

Another beautiful St. Petersburg building, this time the out-of-town Summer Palace that needs a short boat trip or train to find.

As you can see the thing here the main attractions are the numerous ( the figure 140 comes to mind) fountains and the golden statues. The large surrounding park/gardens is very nice too with many trick fountains to amuse the kids. Obviously the Russkies are more fun loving than I had assumed.

I hadn't expected very much from Pristina, Kosovo but I must admit I was pleasantly surprised. I thought it would be another poor Balkan city but no, it reminded me of Spain in many ways. A nice little brand new airport and good roads and the taxi drivers are very friendly for once. Ok, there's not a lot of sights to get excited about but the people are very normal and  friendly, there's some good restaurants and its very cheap too. Two cool beers and a decent plate of risotto, 6.60Euros, 

San Marino

If you like mountains you'll warm to San Marino. A castle, in fact towers, built on top of one. On the right is the minuscule main square and if you're lucky the state's military band will be giving a performance, Magic. It also has some confusingly narrow lanes, nice little shops, a cable car and you can exhaust yourself even more by walking across its three towers. 

The Anna Akhmatova Literary and Memorial Museum 

And lastly I cannot finish without saying something about this museum. I spend a morning there and it really was a very moving experience. I had read a lot about her in books on Russia and wanted to see where she lived. 

The literary museum is in St Petersburg and dedicated to the poet Anna Akhmatova (1889–1966). It opened in 1989 on the centennial of Akhmatova's birth. 

It was a bit hard to find, it's supposed to be on the Fontana river front but the Fountain House is big and the museum, in her old flat, is round the back and actually next to the parallel road 300 metres away. And it's a bit like Pushkin's museum where they have tried to reproduce what life was live in those days.
But here with Anna Akhmatova they have achieved it. All around you are photos, furniture, writings, notes and the layout of the flat hasn't changed. You can see how small it is for the dozen or so people who lived there and there's the camera which appears to have sealed her husbands fate as he made a caustic comment about the Stalin regime while using it. He was denounced by someone who overheard the remark and died in the Gulag! In fact her first husband was also killed by the Bolsheviks and if you had lived through her times during the Terror (her son also spend several years in Prison Camps) perhaps you would understand that her motto through life was "God Preserve Us All".

The museum is located in a wing of Fountain House at 34 Fontana River Embankment. Fountain House was built in the 18th century as a palace for the noble Sheremetev family. Russian emperors highly valued diplomatic and military achievements of several male members of family.

From 1935 to 1941, it housed the Museum of Popular Science, which closed immediately upon the  German invasion. Anna Akhmatova lived in the northern garden wing of the Fountain House in 1918–1920, and lived in the southern wing from the mid-1920s until February 1952.